As The Sakura Blooms
by In Darkness Is Light
Summary: The way Sakura saw it, she'd had three major transformations in life. Now, here she was, at full bloom. Hints of SasuSaku. Oneshot Songfic based off of DBSK/TVXQ's Holding Back The Tears.


_**IDIL's Note: **__I've had this floating in my head for the past few days and finally decided to get it on paper. It's a songfic based off DBSK/TVXQ's Holding Back the Tears. Lyrics below are translated from Korean, of course every source may have a slightly different translation so if this isn't 100% the same as what you've seen, please don't worry. __ As always, love hearing your feedback, so please send it my way! _

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Naruto, Boruto, or any other anime.

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_Please note lyrics are in italics. _

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The way Sakura saw it, she'd had three major transformations in her life.

_A faded white painting_

_And my slightly vanished scent_

_Are hidden inside an eye-blinding cloud_

_My wordless heart_

_Slowly starts to move my feelings_

_Those times that slipped through _

_Are in my hands_

The first came when she was 13.

It had been three weeks since he'd left. Three full weeks and the pain in her chest had not subsided in the least. She sat in her room, tears streaming endlessly as she held a yellowed picture of their former team in her hands. She still couldn't believe it, how could he be gone? Why did he just leave them, leave her, all alone? She wasn't stupid. She knew all about his plans for revenge on his brother but she'd seriously thought that the bond he shared with their team would have been enough in the end to make him stay.

Even when they pleaded with him, even when she had followed him to the gates of the village and confessed her feelings and promised him that she would make sure he was happy if he stayed, he just left her unconscious on a bench and disappeared anyway.

Now looking at the photo, all she can do is remember their memories together. Inside the pain, she feels guilty, as if she's the one who's responsible for his departure. 'If only I'd been stronger', she thinks, 'I could have saved him.'

Instead all she can do is cry in front of Naruto and plead with him to bring Sasuke back. She resolves to make herself so strong that when she meets him again, she will make him come home.

_I'm holding back the tears_

_I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart_

_To a place that is neither close nor far _

_Where a different me stands _

_I will not cry _

Her determination is fierce and she quickly finds herself under Tsunade's tutelage. She trains for years, strengthening both her body and mind to make sure she never feels weak again. Even though most days she's exhausted in all senses of the word, even though she fails over and over again, she does not cry and she does not give up.

Every day, as she walks to the hospital, to the training grounds, she feels herself getting closer and closer to her goals. She feels herself changing, growing stronger day by day, and she knows that soon she will be able to face her teammates again, a new woman. One who will protect all of them if needed.

After a couple of years at this intensity, one day she ends her training smiling. She's different. 'I'm ready,' she thinks. 'Naruto, Sasuke-kun, wait for me, I'm coming. And this time you'll be watching my back.'

As she walks through the village in spring, she sees her namesake tree. She smiles, noticing that it's started to bud.

_I bring my two hands together once again_

_In a place I live the present life_

_Instead of the memories_

_Though it seems stupid, we're always together_

_The pain that I want to let go _

_Dries the tears that flows through my body_

With the change comes a new heartfelt desire. She no longer wants to spend her time living in the past, reminiscing about their memories. Instead she wants to forge forward into the future and create a new reality where they are together again but in a different way.

Her love too has matured, she realizes, or maybe she's just becoming delusional on another level. She's listened carefully to everything Tsunade, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, and others have told her about Sasuke, and despite his physical absence for the last few years, she feels she is finally starting to understand him. She laughs at herself, thinking how funny it is - all these years apart, and she feels more connected to him than ever.

The pain over his absence has not left, in fact it's only grown with time, but this time, rather than use it as an excuse, she uses that pain as fuel to drive her forward.

'Only a little longer...and then we can all be together again.'

She meets him a few times, every time determined to bring him back, come hell or highwater, but nothing works. It takes multiple failed attempts, Naruto getting beaten to a bloody pulp, and Sai confronting her, for her to realize that she can't keep hoping for the same silly dream. She desperately wants him back at her side but it's becoming increasingly clear that while she's been walking towards him, he's been running away deeper and deeper into the darkness that consumes his life. Although she's become stronger, she realizes she can't keep hurting everyone else at his expense. She must surpass herself once again, and think of a new way to save him.

_I'm living with my tears_

_I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart_

_To a place that is neither close nor far _

_Where a different me stands _

_I will not cry _

The second comes at 16.

Steeling herself, she resolves that she will save him, even if she has to kill him to do it. The ultimate sacrifice borne out of true love. She knows if she doesn't do it, the elders will send someone to do it first. She doesn't inform anyone directly of her plan, only telling them that she has a way to stop Naruto from chasing after Sasuke and a way for her to save him. It's a different type of strength she's learning about once again.

She walks up to Naruto that day and tells him she loves him. That she's realized her feelings and has let go of Sasuke. He becomes angry with her, claiming that he hates it when people lie to themselves, but she persists on, even accusing him of being insensitive towards her as she confesses her feelings. She knew this would anger him, but it's better for him to hate her, as she knows there's a strong likelihood her battle with Sasuke may end in death for her as well.

She huffs at him, walking away. She knows what she has to do. Her peripheral vision catches a glimpse of Sai's clone, but she continues on, undeterred. By the time they find out the truth, she will be gone.

She finds Sasuke a little while later and tries to make him believe that she's willing to defect from Konoha for him. She yells, saying she'll do anything to be by his side again. That she's learned a lot and she can be very useful to him this time around.

It takes him telling her to kill Karin to prove her loyalty to him for her to realize that he is not the same man she fell in love with all those years ago. This whole time she's been thinking she could still save the Sasuke she thought was inside, only to realize he may have already died, replaced with this monster she sees in front of her.

The thought terrifies her, and she temporarily deliberates whether to carry out her plan. It takes him those couple of seconds to prepare the chidori and send it charging towards her chest as she turns around, shell-shocked.

Kakashi saves her and tells her to leave and save Karin instead, that he will bear the burden of her resolve. As she kneels over Karin's body, she can't stop the tears from flowing. 'Stupid, you shouldn't have hesitated. What are you doing?'

She cries again as she fails the second time. She sees that same image of the cherry blossom tree in her mind, and despite some of the flowers remaining buds, she finds a few petals falling off those in bloom.

_I'm holding back the tears_

_I run adding to the weight of my faith_

_To a place that is neither high nor low _

_Where a different me stands again _

_With a small smile I can laugh_

The third change is more gradual, occurring over the course of a few years as she matures into her 20s.

It first starts when she finds Sasuke and Naruto in the valley after the battle, and quickly rushes to heal them. As she hears his apology, she gives him a piece of her mind, but also breathes a sigh of relief...he's acting like himself again. This is the first sign of true humanity she's seen in him in a long time.

Gradually, after the strain of the last few years, always being on the run, desperately trying to save him, she slowly builds back up her faith in people, her faith in him. Things don't go back to how they used to be, but she thinks it's better this way anyway. None of them are the same people they once were. The past has changed all of them, and there's a long journey of healing ahead.

She still loves him, despite everything, but makes it clear that she will not take all of the same shit as before. For the first time that she can remember, he watches her with something akin to admiration in his eyes. They all do.

She can tell her old teammates are in awe of her newfound strength, how she can see so much evil in the world and still treat others with kindness and compassion. They realize then, as she does, that her strength was never in her force or knowledge, it was her heart. The same heart that refused to give up on those she loved, chasing away any darkness that came into their lives and planted seeds of doubt in their heads.

She takes that strength and uses it not only to get herself to be head of the hospital, but also to establish a Children's Mental Health Unit, which later takes off in numerous hidden villages among the five nations. She takes on challenge after challenge, realizing that there is more strength in healing than there will ever be in destruction.

Through her dedication, she gains admirers from all over the nation, Sasuke among them. Although their courtship is slow and unconventional, she's certain that he cares for her. They marry a few years later and their love culminates in the birth of their daughter.

As she cradles a one month old Sarada in her arms, she thinks about her journey and can't help but feel proud of how far she's come. She gives a small smile down at their new bundle of joy, and thinks she's going to focus her energy on using that strength going forward to raise their daughter into the best person she can.

Looking out of their apartment window, she sees the same cherry blossom tree from all those years before and lets out a small laugh. It's in full bloom.


End file.
